We just got back from three lovely days in NYC. I feel a little uneasy sitting in my cube. I have spoke before about how I feel like my creative juices stop flowing in wisco. I have to go out and look for it, and search out other people who inspire. When we were in NY, I saw it everywhere. From the silly boots the women are wearing, the subway tiles, on coney island, Brooklyn flea, amazing coffee shops, fun bikes, union square madness, silly diners and the people. Wow, the people. Whoever said the people that live in NY are assholes, was possibly just an asshole. I met some amazing people, people who look you in the eye when you are speaking with them. I feel as tho I am a good judge of character, and I met some great characters.
So I feel inspired. I want to cut things out, glue things, make things...shiny things...dull flat black things...I want to see things float and tear apart my clothes, just to make new ones. I think maybe its time to live someplace I have never been. The problem is I work. I have bills to pay, so having a job is important.
I know I will be missing James when he leaves and this is a great opportunity for him. I also feel like the love we have is strong, and can withstand a ton. We fought so hard to make this work, when it felt everything was against us in the beginning. And now we have a strong connection. I can feel it.
photos coming soon. i pinkie swear.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
things i like for the week
•this blog, brings me happiness...everyday.
•me and the boyfriend are going on a trip to nyc!
•sunshine
•fixie pixie
oh and this photo....
•me and the boyfriend are going on a trip to nyc!
•sunshine
•fixie pixie
oh and this photo....
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
holy bike balls.
I built a bike. I am too lazy to take a good photo of it...but its wonderful and i have learned a ton. I feel alive on my bike. And going to the gym blows so I like to ride my bike until my back is burning. It took me two weeks to take it apart and put it all together. oh and some $$$. The guys at Ben's sorta helped me. When I walked in and said I did not know anything, I think they thought they could sell me the $250 Deep V's. But I had done my homework and knew that I was not going to get bent over today. Yes, I didn't know shit. I was not going to spend all my hard earned money on some wheels I would not be using to the best of their ability. So I bought the cheaper ones, and they helped me. It turned out to be a good experience. I had bought a cheaper Peugeot from a funny guy in South Milwaukee. He was a character...bill was his name. A good dude. He had bought the bike for his wife in the 80's. She never rode it. I took it home and promptly started taking it apart.
I love my bike and its so much more rewarding knowing that I put it all back together...with a little help from these guys.
kx
Saturday, April 25, 2009
mendo - little late
It has taken me awhile to get a blog written after the trip to my old home town. I have been back for almost two weeks already and I am just now sitting down to write this. Maybe I needed to process it?
Me and James planned a trip from our trip, up to the sleepy town of Mendocino. We were going to stay with the lovely Freda-n-Tim (somehow that just reminded me of fish-n-chips for some reason?) and I was told that someone I had gone to school with had bought the Mac House in downtown mendo. So I called and got a good rate on a sweet little room for James and I. We got into town around 2pm on Saturday. I drove in the long way, around the headlands. I had butterflies in my belly.
*A little back history on mendo for me: The last time I lived in mendo, it was 92...right after I turned 18. I was really messed up on meth, and I needed to get out of there. I was not happy, and I was causing more chaos than good. I left with a sour taste in my mouth. And went north.*
So coming back was always a little weird for me. I had never really resolved the feelings, I felt when I left. It's a small town...maybe 2000 people/animals. maybe. I had finished high school there barely. I had a ton of people I had lied to, ripped off, and pissed off. I did not have a lot of people who were friends. And I was a shit person. So when we pulled into town, I still half expected a bunch of drunk guys in pick-up trucks to start throwing rotten eggs at me, and yelling obscenities. That did not happen. When we passed the flats the usual crowd (maybe not the same people, but the same flannel/truck/dog combo was down there) and it brought back all the memories...spending my life chasing a high, because I was bored. And let me tell you this town in one of the most beautiful places I have lived. You forget that when your so busy getting a buzz to make life- livable. Me and James checked into our room, and went to the bakery to get some pretty good coffee (thanksgiving coffee is putting out some good stuff) and a cinnamon twist. (for bean) We then walked up to Mendoza's (which was bought by Harvest market) and got some snacks. Its weird to walk the same streets you feel you know, but it's like a different land now. I saw Big Al. He looks pretty good. Some things never change.
We then went to the headland, straight down Lansing St. There is this big cement slab that we use to sit and drink beer on. The last time I was in Mendo, the headlands had all been cut back to kick out the bums, and to make it easier to catch the underage kids drinking. They have all grown back now, and it's like it use to be...lots of blackberry's, big bushes, and bums "camping" out. The path was rough and muddy. Lots of memories. We passed kids drinking beer (whatever was on sale that day :)) and that same vacant look in their eyes. Dirty hoodies and Ben Davis that looked like they had never been washed. We were taking photos, and looking like tourists. People said hi.
Down on the beach. People drinking (the same sale beer) and making food on the fire pit. The sun was setting and I think I could feel why my mom had decided to move here in the first place. Its pretty amazing. Freda and Tim came to the room, and we all went to the bench at Portuguese Beach and sat and talked. It got cold. We went to the Mendo Cafe for burritos. The prices have gone up and they took all the good stuff off the menu. oh well.It was fun. And F&T are great to talk with. After me and James went into the hot tub - a first for him- and it was HOT. We then snuggled up in the yummy bed and went to bed.
Easter Sunday. I decided I could not stay in bed any longer and went up to the Bakery to get us some coffees. This was the town I remembered...there was only a couple locals out, but otherwise it was ghost town. I walked past Corners of the Mouth. I walked up the steps at the bank and had to sit there for a couple of minutes. I had so much unresolved history in the small quaint village. It was time to make my amends. I said I was sorry for all the things I had done to the town and the people who lived in it. I said I was done feeling like I owed this town something. I no longer wanted my stomach to turn when I made the left hand turn into the town I once knew. I wanted to walk away this time with the feeling that I had left the old Kai behind. And was able to see the beauty and stare out at the bay and feel like this place that had once brought so much joy and pain...was now just Mendocino. An amazing place where I had grown up.
We had reservations at the Mac House and had a yummy breakfast that was included in the price of the room. It was really nice. Then went north to Fort Bragg. Not the town I remember. I guess a ton of people have moved here and the vibe is much more hippy than redneck. We went and saw Madame Chinchilla at Triangle Tattoo. She gave us a rad tour and took our photos. Its a great museum of all things tattoo. Lots and lots of history.
Then onto Fred's in Cleone to say our last goodbyes to Freda and Tim and see Fred. Its been a long time. This was a place I spent a ton of time at. Lots of great parties. It felt like home.
Then more north to Leggett...but this is good left for another blog at some point.
cheers.
kai
Me and James planned a trip from our trip, up to the sleepy town of Mendocino. We were going to stay with the lovely Freda-n-Tim (somehow that just reminded me of fish-n-chips for some reason?) and I was told that someone I had gone to school with had bought the Mac House in downtown mendo. So I called and got a good rate on a sweet little room for James and I. We got into town around 2pm on Saturday. I drove in the long way, around the headlands. I had butterflies in my belly.
*A little back history on mendo for me: The last time I lived in mendo, it was 92...right after I turned 18. I was really messed up on meth, and I needed to get out of there. I was not happy, and I was causing more chaos than good. I left with a sour taste in my mouth. And went north.*
So coming back was always a little weird for me. I had never really resolved the feelings, I felt when I left. It's a small town...maybe 2000 people/animals. maybe. I had finished high school there barely. I had a ton of people I had lied to, ripped off, and pissed off. I did not have a lot of people who were friends. And I was a shit person. So when we pulled into town, I still half expected a bunch of drunk guys in pick-up trucks to start throwing rotten eggs at me, and yelling obscenities. That did not happen. When we passed the flats the usual crowd (maybe not the same people, but the same flannel/truck/dog combo was down there) and it brought back all the memories...spending my life chasing a high, because I was bored. And let me tell you this town in one of the most beautiful places I have lived. You forget that when your so busy getting a buzz to make life- livable. Me and James checked into our room, and went to the bakery to get some pretty good coffee (thanksgiving coffee is putting out some good stuff) and a cinnamon twist. (for bean) We then walked up to Mendoza's (which was bought by Harvest market) and got some snacks. Its weird to walk the same streets you feel you know, but it's like a different land now. I saw Big Al. He looks pretty good. Some things never change.
We then went to the headland, straight down Lansing St. There is this big cement slab that we use to sit and drink beer on. The last time I was in Mendo, the headlands had all been cut back to kick out the bums, and to make it easier to catch the underage kids drinking. They have all grown back now, and it's like it use to be...lots of blackberry's, big bushes, and bums "camping" out. The path was rough and muddy. Lots of memories. We passed kids drinking beer (whatever was on sale that day :)) and that same vacant look in their eyes. Dirty hoodies and Ben Davis that looked like they had never been washed. We were taking photos, and looking like tourists. People said hi.
Down on the beach. People drinking (the same sale beer) and making food on the fire pit. The sun was setting and I think I could feel why my mom had decided to move here in the first place. Its pretty amazing. Freda and Tim came to the room, and we all went to the bench at Portuguese Beach and sat and talked. It got cold. We went to the Mendo Cafe for burritos. The prices have gone up and they took all the good stuff off the menu. oh well.It was fun. And F&T are great to talk with. After me and James went into the hot tub - a first for him- and it was HOT. We then snuggled up in the yummy bed and went to bed.
Easter Sunday. I decided I could not stay in bed any longer and went up to the Bakery to get us some coffees. This was the town I remembered...there was only a couple locals out, but otherwise it was ghost town. I walked past Corners of the Mouth. I walked up the steps at the bank and had to sit there for a couple of minutes. I had so much unresolved history in the small quaint village. It was time to make my amends. I said I was sorry for all the things I had done to the town and the people who lived in it. I said I was done feeling like I owed this town something. I no longer wanted my stomach to turn when I made the left hand turn into the town I once knew. I wanted to walk away this time with the feeling that I had left the old Kai behind. And was able to see the beauty and stare out at the bay and feel like this place that had once brought so much joy and pain...was now just Mendocino. An amazing place where I had grown up.
We had reservations at the Mac House and had a yummy breakfast that was included in the price of the room. It was really nice. Then went north to Fort Bragg. Not the town I remember. I guess a ton of people have moved here and the vibe is much more hippy than redneck. We went and saw Madame Chinchilla at Triangle Tattoo. She gave us a rad tour and took our photos. Its a great museum of all things tattoo. Lots and lots of history.
Then onto Fred's in Cleone to say our last goodbyes to Freda and Tim and see Fred. Its been a long time. This was a place I spent a ton of time at. Lots of great parties. It felt like home.
Then more north to Leggett...but this is good left for another blog at some point.
cheers.
kai
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
that one day....
march, 15th 1998
I decided on this day that I would no longer use alcohol to make me feel better. And every year I celebrate this, with an anniversary. For the last 8 or so years it includes Sushi and the local strip bar. I have carried this tradition with me from state to state....it is usually the people that are closest with me...this year the posse included James, Lora, Jenny h, Tracy, Todd, Bill E., Joshie, Margret, Addie, Clayton, and me. We had a nice time at dinner, lots of sushi eaten. Thank you for dinner, lover.
I got the most wonderful cake made for me. James had it made. My nick-name is Pork Chop. The cake was so fun.
Then we were off to the strip bar. And the story is going to end there. The people who went know how much fun was had! What up VIP, bitches.
I Love you all for celebrating with me.
xo
k
I decided on this day that I would no longer use alcohol to make me feel better. And every year I celebrate this, with an anniversary. For the last 8 or so years it includes Sushi and the local strip bar. I have carried this tradition with me from state to state....it is usually the people that are closest with me...this year the posse included James, Lora, Jenny h, Tracy, Todd, Bill E., Joshie, Margret, Addie, Clayton, and me. We had a nice time at dinner, lots of sushi eaten. Thank you for dinner, lover.
I got the most wonderful cake made for me. James had it made. My nick-name is Pork Chop. The cake was so fun.
Then we were off to the strip bar. And the story is going to end there. The people who went know how much fun was had! What up VIP, bitches.
I Love you all for celebrating with me.
xo
k
things i luv today
•croutons on my potbelly salad
•my boyfriends butt
•katy perry's distorted face
•my boss jeff g.
•clean white sheets
•payday!
<3<3<3
meow,
k
•my boyfriends butt
•katy perry's distorted face
•my boss jeff g.
•clean white sheets
•payday!
<3<3<3
meow,
k
Monday, March 9, 2009
spring!
I have not been posting recently because I have been busy at work and trying to stay afloat. I have been doing some crafty things tho. And I figured I would tell you about them now. I got really excited about making the cards in my last post and I thought I could sew that on anything. So my new adventure in embroidery is to fine silly sayings in french/Italian/ Spanish and change them so they have swear words or something silly in them, and then stitch them onto a hoodie or something. So far it seems to be working out. I have "i fucking love you" in french sewn into my orange sweatshirt. in script. its pretty cute.
As far as anything much else? Not really much going on. I have had a couple friends visit in the last couple of weeks and its been really great. Being able to see Claire's face and see Angela giggle, has lifted my spirits. And as much as I have friends that live far away...I know they are only a plane ride away.
Money has been making me a little bummed. Everything seems to cost more, and I seem to have less and less money to do things with. Its depressing. We are in a bad spot here in the World, and I have a gut feeling it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I keep putting myself out for design/production freelance work. And my HP will provide for me. This I know.
Oh and I have someone in my life that makes me feel good. I have been learning a ton about what he does. I am glad I am with someone that has such passion. Its refreshing and nice. And I am happy to share with him. We went to the Roast Barista Jam on Friday and that was fun, we went to the chili cook off on Sunday - also super fun. Its nice to just have someone fun by my side. :)
cheers
Kai
ps...expect a fun post next week(with photos)...I am having a party!
As far as anything much else? Not really much going on. I have had a couple friends visit in the last couple of weeks and its been really great. Being able to see Claire's face and see Angela giggle, has lifted my spirits. And as much as I have friends that live far away...I know they are only a plane ride away.
Money has been making me a little bummed. Everything seems to cost more, and I seem to have less and less money to do things with. Its depressing. We are in a bad spot here in the World, and I have a gut feeling it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I keep putting myself out for design/production freelance work. And my HP will provide for me. This I know.
Oh and I have someone in my life that makes me feel good. I have been learning a ton about what he does. I am glad I am with someone that has such passion. Its refreshing and nice. And I am happy to share with him. We went to the Roast Barista Jam on Friday and that was fun, we went to the chili cook off on Sunday - also super fun. Its nice to just have someone fun by my side. :)
cheers
Kai
ps...expect a fun post next week(with photos)...I am having a party!
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